Seven Words that Can Build a Marriage | Part 1

Guest (Male): What is the threefold cord that binds our homes together? Listen to Adrian Rogers.
Adrian Rogers: It's very obvious that in spite of all of their faults and their peccadillos, Abraham and Sarah had an abiding faith in God. You know what the Bible says? The Bible says a threefold cord is not easily broken. When you take one strand, you may break it. Wrap it with another strand, it is harder to break. But threefold cords are most difficult to break. What is the threefold cord that binds our homes together? The man, the woman, and God.
Guest (Male): Welcome to Love Worth Finding, featuring the timeless teaching of pastor and author Adrian Rogers. A threefold cord is not easily broken. Likewise, a marriage made up of a man, a woman, and God is difficult to break. God designed the divine institution of marriage and has given us the tools to create blessed homes. The Bible shows us how we can cultivate success in the home. If you have your Bible, turn to 1 Peter chapter 3. We'll begin in verse 1 as Adrian Rogers shares seven words that can build a marriage.
Adrian Rogers: Find please 1 Peter chapter 3. We have a wonderful message on the home this morning, and I pray it will be a blessing to your heart. Love in marriage is wonderful. Actually, it is a miracle. But the great miracle is not love at first sight. Friend, the great miracle is love after a long, long look. How do you keep the honey in the honeymoon? You don't want to be like that man who enjoyed showing his pictures of his wedding, the video, backward so he could see himself walking out of the church a free man. It ought not to be like that. How can you keep that excitement, that thrill here? We are going to be studying about Abraham and Sarah. Let us look in the scripture here, beginning in verse 1. "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation"—that literally means the behavior of the wives. It includes what one would say, but it goes far beyond that in the King James English. Verse 2: "While they behold your chaste"—that means your pure—"behavior coupled"—or joined—"with fear. Whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of the plaiting of the hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." We will stop our reading right there, but this is a description of Sarah and Abraham, and it uses them as an example. That is an encouragement to me because Sarah and Abraham had a lot of obstacles. They were not a perfect couple. They had all kinds of pressures. For example, they had family pressures. They lived in a tent. Lady, how would you like to live in a tent constantly moving? They had unfulfilled passions and desires and ambitions. They were looking for a city that had foundations, but in their married life, they never found it. There was a very ugly part that was a third person who came into their marriage, a woman named Hagar, and Abraham had a child by Hagar. That is an ugly thing and one of the marks upon Abraham’s life that he certainly has to hang his head in shame about. They had difficulty with their children. They had a blended family. Not only that, but children themselves are just a difficulty, we might as well admit it. From the time a child is 12 to 18, he watches his parents age 20 years. They had these kids they had to deal with. And Abraham failed. There was a time when Abraham failed to protect Sarah, and he told a half-truth in order to save his own hide. He was kind of a scoundrel when he did that. Yet he is known as a man of faith, but he certainly was not perfect. They went through all of the things that we all go through: the fiery passions of youth when they fell in love, then middle age. They say youth looks forward, old age looks backward, and middle age just looks worried. They went through middle age and then they went through old age—what we call the sunset years of life. They went through all of that, but they made it. So can you if you put in practice some of the things that we are going to teach about today. Nobody has a perfect marriage because there are no perfect people. You ought to be glad that you are not perfect and that your mate is not perfect. Actually, if your mate were perfect, he or she never would have married you. Think about it. I was speaking in North Carolina at the Billy Graham Conference Center over there, which is an absolutely beautiful place called The Cove. I was preaching on marriage and the home, and a lady in mature years got up and she spoke to the younger women. She said, "Now I want you younger women to know this. You may marry a man who is a knight with shining armor on a white horse. But somebody still has to clean up after the horse." And then she said in parenthesis, "And enjoy it." How are we going to have the kind of a home that God wants us to have? May I give you seven simple words? All you have to do is just write down seven words, but these seven words are going to come out of this passage of scripture that we are looking at today. If you will take these seven words and inculcate them, I believe I can promise to you a successful family. First word is faith. F-A-I-T-H. Look in 1 Peter chapter 3, verse 5. "For after this manner in old time the holy women also," now watch this phrase, "who trusted in God." I am going to stop reading right there and then go down to verse 7. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life." The grace of life means the power of God that comes into your life through faith. It is very obvious that in spite of all of their faults and their peccadillos, Abraham and Sarah had an abiding faith in God. The Bible says a threefold cord is not easily broken. When you take one strand, you may break it. Wrap it with another strand, it is harder to break. But threefold cords are most difficult to break. What is the threefold cord that binds our homes together? The man, the woman, and God. Our home is solidly built on Jesus Christ. Joyce knows that she is not number one in my life. She is not first in my life. She knows that God is first in my life. I know that God is first in her life. I don't mind that because I know that she loves me with a stronger, deeper, purer love by putting God first than she could ever love me if she made me first. It is God that puts us together. In our dating life, as we were growing up as high school sweethearts, we would conclude our dates in prayer. The first night of our honeymoon, we kneeled beside the bed and gave our home to Jesus Christ. Every day we pray together at breakfast. We pray for all of our children and grandchildren and pray for various things that God wants us to have, but we pray for one another and bless one another. Our home is built on prayer. It began with prayer; it continues with prayer. Friend, listen. You will never have a successful home, in my humble but accurate opinion, apart from God. You will never know God as you ought without faith. Abraham and Sarah are listed there in Hebrews chapter 11 as champions of faith. Second word. Not only the word faith, here is the second word: acceptance. Look in chapter 3 and verse 1. "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they may without the word be won by the behavior of the wives." That is, your husband is not going to be perfect. He is not always going to be living in accordance with the word of God. There comes a word here while we are in the neighborhood: being in subjection to your own husbands. Submission to your husband does not mean you are inferior. The devil has pulled a trick on people. The devil today has tried to obliterate the differences between the sexes. Under the guise of making men and women equal, he has tried to make them the same. Men and women are equal before God. In Christ, there is neither male nor female, Jew nor Greek. We are all one in the Lord Jesus Christ. But equality of worth is not the sameness of function. God has put headship in the home. God has made the husband be the head of the home, not the boss of the home. There is a difference between bossiness and headship. When the husband is the head of the home, that simply means he has a responsibility. It does not mean he has superiority, but he has a certain responsibility. You are never more like the devil than when you have an unsubmissive spirit. You are never more like the Lord Jesus Christ than when you have a submissive spirit. We accept one another. Headship for the husband does not mean the husband has greater privileges. It means that he has greater responsibility. But we accept who we are. We accept our God-given roles. Sir, if you don't accept the headship that God has given you in the home, you are a slacker, a shirker, a failure as a husband. Precious lady, if you don't accept God's plan for the home, you have a rebellious spirit. After the service, if you disagree with this passage of scripture, please do not take it up with me. Read it back to the Lord and say, "Now, Lord, here's one place where you really blew it. Here's one place where you made a mistake." Do not come to argue with me. I am not the author. I am just the Western Union boy delivering the message. This does not mean there are fewer blessings. Actually, it means more blessings when we find God's plan for the home. But there is this matter of acceptance. We accept our roles. We accept one another. Neither of us is perfect, but we accept the other. Never marry a person in order to make them over. If you don't like what you are getting, do not get it. Do not marry. You marry in haste; you will repent in leisure. But once you are married, you accept it. Third word is contentment. Look in verses 3 and 4. Peter is talking about the way that women adorn themselves in dress and he says, "Whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of the plaiting of the hair and of wearing of gold and putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible," underscore the phrase "that which is not corruptible," "even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life. Underscore that phrase "heirs together of the grace of life." As you study the life of Abraham and Sarah, you find that God had given them, in spite of all of their faults, a spirit of contentment. Abraham was a very wealthy man, but he did not flaunt his wealth. He was able to use his wealth, not abuse it. He did not always live a life of comfort and security because they had to move from place to place. Learn the secret of contentment. Learn that you can get along without almost anything except one another and God, or without God and one another. If you have God and one another, you have something to wear and something to eat, that is all you need. The Bible says, "Having food and clothing, let us therewith be content." If you have more, I am happy for you. Ladies, if you are wearing gold today, I am happy for you. Sir, if you have been successful in your business, I am happy for you. The Bible says God takes pleasure in the prosperity of His servants. Listen to me carefully. A wise man once said, "To whom little is not enough, nothing is enough." If you did not hear that, you missed something real good. It is not original with me, but it is so true. To whom little is not enough, nothing is enough. If you and wife or you and husband have God and one another, you have all you need to be content. One man had an enormous fortune, and overnight he lost it. He was like one of these dot-com companies—it just cratered. He lost it all. They had to sell their big, fine home. They moved into a little apartment. They looked around at this small apartment. They had been living in luxury. He slumped down in the chair and said, "Well, here we are." She said, "No! Here we are!" Learn the secret of contentment. Sometimes people read this passage of scripture and they think it teaches that women ought not to fix their hair and wear gold. Ladies, He is not against you fixing yourself up. Sarah must have fixed herself up. After she was 80, men were still vying for her. She was a knockout. She was dynamite. What He is saying is this: "Whose adornment? Do not let it be that outward adornment." If that is what you are counting on, you are fighting a losing battle because you are getting older and there is a new bevy of beauties coming on every day. Use your noggin. Think about it. You learn to have the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is not corruptible. You can get more and more beautiful. I know my wife, like her husband, is getting older. But that gal is gorgeous to me. She is beautiful. I know her character. I know the inward beauty. I adore her because outward beauty can fade; inward beauty is real. Somebody said beauty is skin-deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone. Beauty fades, but ugly holds its own. Learn the secret of real beauty, and that comes out of real contentment. The real character is inward. He says, "The ornament of a meek and quiet spirit." That word "meek" does not mean weak. The Roman army was described as meek. All meek means is under control. A meek spirit—meekness is not weakness. Jesus was meek and mild; He was not weak. It says "a quiet spirit." That does not mean mousey or timid. It means serene. It means tranquil. It means a person who has inner beauty and character, a person who has learned contentment. Both husband and wife need to learn contentment. Be content. Fourth word: forgiveness. Look in chapter 3, verses 8 through 10. "Likewise, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous, not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile." All married people must learn to forgive. Ever get a splinter in your finger? Maybe it is down there deep enough and you see that little dark spot. You say, "I could get that out, but I don't know." You could get a needle and pick it out, but you say, "Maybe it will work its way out," and you just leave it there. One morning you wake up and you have this incredible pain and this thing is throbbing and has festered. It is infected because you did not get it out. The Bible says do not let the sun go down upon your wrath.
Guest (Male): Coming up, we'll hear part two of this important lesson. Do you have a prayer request you'd like to share with us, maybe about your marriage or your family? At Love Worth Finding, it's one of our great honors to come alongside you and pray with you and for you. If you can, go to our website homepage at LWF.org/radio and scroll down to our prayer wall. There you'll find the option to either submit a prayer request or pray for others. This resource is one of our favorite ways to keep the ministry and the community praying continually for one another's needs. We can't wait to hear from you today.
Carrie Vaughn: Hi, this is Carrie Vaughn, and this program has been brought to you by Love Worth Finding, a non-profit ministry showcasing the powerful preaching and teaching of Pastor Adrian Rogers. We operate solely through the generous gifts of individual supporters just like you. So to give a gift today, call 1-877-LOVEGOD. That's 1-877-LOVEGOD. You can also connect with us online by going to LWF.org/radio. There we offer helpful resources inspired by the timeless teachings of Pastor Rogers. Or even write to us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38-600, Memphis, Tennessee 38183. Thank you for listening today, and be sure to join us next time for more profound truth, simply stated, right here on Love Worth Finding.
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